Monday, December 2, 2019

Johnny Got His Gun Review


I love this book. I understand how generic that overused that four-letter word seems, but the deep feelings that this cautionary tale of the devastation of war provoked in me are unlike anything I have felt before. I loved it. Johnny Got His Gun did what every great book does; it shifted my entire world view. I could write endlessly of the unparalleled struggle in the first half of the book, “The Death”, but that portion of the book only gave me sadness. The second half, “The Living”,  gave me resentment but also hope. When Joe Bonham cannot find a way to die he finds a way to live. Every day, he tries to image a sunrise and even though he will never see one again, he revels in its unseen glory. This part of the book touched me the most. It made me realize just how lucky I am to stare at a crimson sky as dawn breaks. It made me hate America for taking that from fictional Joe, and non-fictional veterans from all wars. Every person should read this book. It isn’t particularly well written, and the plot is not at all satisfying, but the message is too important to ignore this work. Nobody should be forced to die for a word, whether it be liberty, unity, or democracy. Life is too precious and too fleeting to waste it fighting.

Friday, September 20, 2019

"Bet I know something else you don’t. There’s dew on the grass in the morning."

Clarise is one of my favorite characters in literature. She is so quirky and weird compared to the brainwashed people she is surrounded by, but nothing she says would be particularly strange in our world...or so it seems.
The thing I love about Ray Bradbury is the same reason why his work terrifies me. He predicted the worst most dystopian technologically reliant future, and it mirrors our reality so closely.
Dew on morning grass. How could a grown man not know about it? At one point I thought Montag was so ignorant, but then realization dawned on me. I can't remember the last time I saw dew on morning grass. Bradbury holds a mirror to his readers. He shows us a narrator and convinces us to judge and mock and fear and eventually look at ourselves. He shows us the warped scars that the modern world has given us, that we have given to one another. We are not Clarisse. We are the firemen, destroying a truth because it is unpleasant. We are Millie, listening to walls and waiting for another device to drown out our consciousness and shame.

Thursday, September 19, 2019

"I think it pisses God off if you walk by the color purple in a field somewhere and don’t notice it. " Letter 73.

       This is most likely the most famous quote from Alice Walker's "The Color Purple". I figured rather than simply write about the quote, I would write about the letter it comes from as a whole.
       Letter 73 is a particularly low point for Celie. Her entire life she was devout, and she time and time again placed her faith in God. Through every trial and tribulation, she still remained faithful. After Mr. hides Netties letters, Celie loses faith. She wonders how God could be so awful to her, why he never gave her any joy. If I'm being quite honest, she deserved to feel that way.
       This is my favorite letter for two reasons. One is that, of all people, Shug Avery is the woman who preaches that Celie should remain Faithful to God.  Shug Avery embodies all sorts of sins throughout the book, but that is also why her perspective on religion is so suiting. The second reason why I love this letter is that it is the only time that Religion is something I connected with. The faith Shug describes fits into the lens I view the world with. She believes that God is not some spiteful, bearded, old white man in the clouds, but rather all of the beauty and joy in this world. "God is what connects people with all living things. As much as we serve God, he serves us double. He put everything beautiful like trees and music and the color purple here so that we could enjoy it."

"Until you do right by me, I say, everything you even dream about will fail. I give it to him straight, just like it come to me. And it seem to come from the trees."

This scene, without a doubt, is the most jaw-dropping scene in the entire book. At so many points, It feels like Celie will never stand up for herself. She endures abuse after abuse from every man in her life, and at times it got hard to read. When she finally realizes her self worth and leaves her terrible, good for nothing husband I re-read the scene at least twice. It was one of those moments in literature where iI wasn't reading a book, I was a fly on the wall. It felt like I witnessed her strength first hand. Celie is one of the most remarkable and genuine narrators I've read. She is fallible and flawed. Whether it is her lack of education, her reluctance to feel valued, or her acceptance of a life without love, her vulnerability made her feel so real.

"Anyhow, I say, the God I been praying and writing to is a man. And act just like all the other mens I know. Trifling, forgetful and lowdown." Letter

Celie goes through a multitude of transformations over the course of "The Color Purple". In my last entry, I discussed her spiritual transformation. Now, I want to focus on her evolving opinions regarding feminism. The Celie at the beginning of the book is unrecognizable to the Celie at the end. That is mostly due to her growing self-respect.

"I make myself wood. I say to myself, Celie you are a tree. That’s how come I know trees fear man." Letter 13

Based on my former blog entries, it probably comes as no surprise that Alice Walker's "The Color Purple" is my favorite novel. Celie's revelations about spirituality really resonate with me. In fact, reading the book and taking in her perspective has completely altered the way I view the world around me. Through the help of Celie's confidant and Lover Shug Avery, Celie learns to appreciate and connect with the beauty she is surrounded by. This beauty is rooted in nature, as in mother nature and human nature. 
However, this specific quote comes into the story long before her spiritual revelations. Even though she does not broadly believe that all living things are connected, she has already found a (for lack of a better word) bond with nature. well...trees at least. That kinship she forms with trees is re-visited throughout the entire novel. At every point of her story arch, trees are the thing Walker use to demonstrate Celie's growth and opinions on life.

"I just try to live every day as if I've deliberately come back to this one day, to enjoy it, as if it was the full final day of my extraordinary, ordinary life."

Tuesday, August 27, 2019

"Sometime in the future I would have to build my own dream out of those things that were so much a part of my childhood" (p. 261)

Considering that this is the last Bless me ultima quote I will be analyzing, I wanted to close on a personal note and address the coming of age aspects of this book. As a teenager, I am approaching the finish line of childhood, and I was surprised how much this specific quote stirred my emotions. I suppose it calls to mind the pinnacle of my own coming of age journey.  
When I turned twelve, I moved away from the small town I grew up and came to Los Angeles. I knew nothing outside of snow and skiing, and I had spent my entire life with the same people every day. I had no idea how to navigate this daunting clamorous metropolis. Eventually, I realized that I am capable of all the curveballs life throws my way. The snow, skiing, and the isolation provided me with the tools to keep growing and dreaming. 

This quote encompasses the parallels in Tony’s journey. He manages to sort through the trials and tribulations of death and injustice, the arbitrary judgment and expectations from family, and the contradictions between religious and spiritual identity. He needed to construct a futre from the conflicting traits he inherits from the sea and the moon.
I suppose, at one point we all need to learn to adapt and flourish under any set of circumstances. I might be speaking with limited experience here, but I think that is a universal truth of growing up.

"Take the llano and the river valley, the moon and the sea, God and the golden carp-and make something new,' I said to myself" (p. 247).

  The various symbols in this quote all represent different facets of the identity he constructs. The
llano is a symbol of his father and the rest of Tony's paternal family.  likewise, the river valley is a
parallel with his mother and her family. When I was analyzing the next set of symbols, "the moon and
the sea", I initially thought that these were also symbols for his family. Upon further evaluation
though, I believe they really reflect the values that Tony gravitates to from each family. Although
Tony doesn't necessarily become a priest or a cowboy, he still encompasses the most important values
from each family. He is the moon, wise and compassionate, and he is also the sea, curious and free.
As for the last set of characteristics, the making of "something new" between to carp and God,
reflects his unique spiritual identity that pulls from traditional catholicism and from some of the more
spiritual pagan ideals he learned from Ultima.
By the end of the novel, as Tony completes his journey, he has a more grounded identity. Within
all of these symbols, are the building blocks of the man Antonio will become. Of course, he is only
able to start assembling this identity once he abandons the blueprint others have drawn for him.
Throughout the story, he becomes so much more complex and multifaceted than just a priest or just a
vaquero. He is a culmination of the llano, the river valley, the moon, the sea, the golden carp, and
God.



Saturday, August 24, 2019

"They will burn sulfur instead of holy incense. They will sing and dance around her coffin, pulling at their hair and flesh. They will slay a rooster and spread his blood on their dead sister" (p. 139).



This quote calls to mind a dangerous ideology. It's all throughout the text that we read, and the society in which we live. With phrases such as "we" or "us" or "our", it's easy to feel comfortable, safe, understood, and a part of.  It almost goes without saying that statements of "they" and "them" seem to threaten this sacred construct of "us" that we identify with. However, misunderstanding and fear of ‘them’ can lead to rumors and exaggerations that are at best humiliating and crippling, and at worst fatal. 
Perhaps the magnitude of what I’m saying is lost without examples to support it. One very dramatic case of the monstrous “them’’ is in Donald Trump’s 2015 presidential announcement speech. “They’re sending people that have lots of problems, and they’re bringing those problems with us. They’re bringing drugs. They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists.” ‘They’ are Mexicans, ‘We’ are Americans. They threaten us, ergo they must be stopped. With this mentality, it isn't surprising that ‘we’ put ‘them’ in cages, even if ‘they’ are infants.
There are many examples of this mentality in literature as well, one of my favorites is found in “The Crucible”. When young girls wind up in trouble for dancing in the woods, Abigail constructs a ‘them’ to save herself. In this case ‘they’ are witches/vehicles of Satan, who must be tried and executed. 
We are all guilty of this mindset, it is ingrained in every prejudice we hold. Even when reading ''Bless me, Ultima". Many quotes throughout the book shame witchcraft, but Ultima is 'guilty' of many of the practices condemned in the book.
All things considered, there is a thin line between building communities and building walls, and it is difficult to do one without the other. I suppose all we can do to combat this parasitic concept is to remember that we are all simultaneously us and them depending on the light we are viewed in.

Thursday, August 22, 2019

"There are so many dreams to be fulfilled, but Ultima says a man's destiny must unfold itself like a flower, with only the sun and the earth and water making it blossom, and no one else meddling in it-" (p. 223).


When I was in Msr. Matus’ sophomore English class, I couldn't make up my mind about the idiosyncrasies of William Shakespeare's “Macbeth”. For a long while, I was convinced that The moral of the story was as Ultima said, “a man’s destiny must unfold itself...no one else meddling in it”. Or more simply put, what will be will be. However, after finishing the book and analyzing it I realized that although that is the theme, the plot is more complex than “trust the process”. Macbeth calls another layer of this lesson into question. The point of the book isn’t to warn against others “meddling” in your destiny, but rather to prevent oneself from doing said “meddling”. 
Macbeth makes the Whiches prophesies become reality, he takes all the actions to fulfill the prophesies because he heard of the outcome. I would argue that, if the witches hadn't stopped Macbeth he wouldn’t have killed the king or Banquo. 
He meddled with his own destiny. So, I find myself disagreeing ever so slightly with the wise Ultima. The entire flower metaphor puts my thoughts on destiny into words better than I could. However, as soon as she warns against others altering one’s destiny, we reach a discrepancy. I would take it one step further and claim that you also must protect your destiny from yourself.
 We all manifest what we believe we want, but we often don't really know what those wants entail. The same way that I don't know what's good for anyone else, I don't really know what's good for me either. Only time does, and time has a way of putting us where we need to be. Well... that's if you beleive in destiny, which in itself is an entirely different topic.

"There are many gods,' Cico whispered, 'gods of beauty and magic, gods of the garden, gods in our own backyards-but we go off to foreign countries to find new ones, we reach to the stars to find new ones-" (p. 237).

I am well aware that in every other post I make, I reference “The Color Purple”, but it is hard to disregard the similarities between the two books. That being said, I won't condemn anyone to listen to me ramble on about the parallels between Celie and Tony. In fact, I want to steer away from connecting one piece of literature with another. Instead, I am going to try my hand at anecdote. 
Although as stated in past entries, I have never questioned my lack of faith, my father’s relationship with God has been a bit of a rollercoaster. Similarly to Antonio, my father was raised with a devout catholic mother. He practiced religion all throughout his childhood, but as life got hard, he stopped believing. When he was getting sober, part of his time in AA was dedicated to reading aloud from “The Big Book of Alcoholics Annonymous”, which contains many elements of the Bible and Christianity.
One day he refused to read aloud because his page referred to God, and he wouldn’t say his name. His sponsor then gave my dad a piece of advice that shaped his future spirituality.
He simply said, “Any time you see the word God, add an 'o', replace it with Good”
Somehow, the meaning of the text didn't change. When one thinks of God just as a word that holds everything good in this world, belief has very little to do with the whole God thing. 

This ideology correlates with several portions of “Bless me, Ultima”, this quote in particular. It lists several places in our world where we can all feel, see, and find God/good. Such as gardens, or the night sky, or even just beauty. More than that though, this quote calls a slightly philosophical thought to mind. As part of the human condition, we are never satisfied. We can be completely surrounded by good, and still, go searching for it. Maybe that is why some people never find God, we are always reaching for better, and never grasping the good.

Tuesday, August 20, 2019

“The orange of the golden carp appeared at the edge of the pond. . . . We watched in silence at the beauty and grandeur of the great fish.” (p.115)

At first glance, I thought that the golden carp was Rodolfo Anaya’s analogy for God. However, the more I read about Tony’s interactions/opinions of the fish, I saw that the fish is a spiritual figure, not necessarily a religious one. 
Not to beat a dead horse here, but this experience pertaining to spirituality calls “The Color Purple” to mind. In Alice walker’s novel, Celie doesn’t feel like the confines of Christianity fulfill her. Only when she turns to a more spiritual approach to God/religion does she find peace of mind. She does this through appreciating nature, specifically colors (such as the color purple). She finds herself believing that God isn’t who the church always told her he was. He is in everything beautiful, trying to please us all.
This correlates with Tony on a couple of levels.1)He associates the carp’s beauty partly, with its rich color. 2) He sees the golden carp, and all of its beauty, and receives a spiritual feeling from just how strong and mesmerizing the fish is. 3) The carp represents spirituality outside the Catholic church and the acceptance that faith can be tied to many things outside of God. 4) He has similar thoughts and feelings towards other natural things throughout the book; for example, juniper trees.

I think one of the reasons I come back to Antonio’s similarities to Celie partially because I don’t have much reference on religious texts, questioning religion, or (specifically) pieces of literature that cover these topics. That being said, I do think these characters are very similar both in terms of their approach to religion, and their quest for their identities.

“look for me in the evenings when the wind is gentle and the owls sing in the hills. I shall be with you—” (p.261)

I don't think there would be a better way for Ultima to die. She is with Antonio, passing on her final jewel of spiritual wisdom, the last lesson she has to give to Tony.  She devoted the end of her life to the development of Tony’s. Ultima was the ultimate teacher and friend for Antonio. In some ways, she reminds me of the giving tree. She gives him comfort, companionship, wisdom, strength, and (even in her last moment) she gives him her blessing. 

The other character that Ultima correlates with is coincidentally also from a children's book. However, this connection is a lot more literal, and there are very few factors that differentiate these characters...well aside from the fact that the wise ‘Ultima’character is a young prince from outer space. In Antoine Marie Jean-Baptiste Roger’s novella “The Little Prince”, the young extraterrestrial enlightens an old man about handling life and death. The two characters become very attached, and when the little prince is about to ‘return to the stars’ (die) he prepares the man for life after his death. The little prince says, “In one of the stars I shall be living. In one of them I shall be laughing. And so it will be as if all the stars will be laughing when you look at the sky at night.” The similarities to this reassurance with Ultima’s are uncanny, probably because it is a common trend to give loved ones things, ideas, or even places to hold onto once they return to the stars, and sing with the owls.

Sunday, August 18, 2019

"I had been afraid of the awful presence of the river, which was the soul of the river, but through her I learned that my spirit shared in the spirit of all things" (p.15)

When I was trying to remember the coming of age stories I’ve read, to see which one’s characters mimic those of “Bless me, Ultima”, I kept coming back to “To Kill a Mockingbird”. Scout is a young innocent girl who learns of the world’s injustices over the course of the novel, specifically concerning good people dying and guilty people living freely. This is very similar to the lessons Tony learns in his story as Narciso dies, and Tenorio isn’t imprisoned for his murder. There are also many similarities between Atticus and Ultima. They are both the wise confidants of children. They guide them to develop a deeper understanding of the world around them, and how to deal with the unpleasant aspects of that world. Both of these characters could be compared to John the Baptist. They submerge the naive children in truth, and as they emerge from their experiences (arising from innocence) they mature and hold different, more complex views. This quote specifically relates to TKMB’s Boo Radley plot. Scout (and all the Maycomb children) fear the Radley home and its inhabitant. By the end of the book, she realizes there is nothing to fear; it is just a house with a kind misunderstood man living in it. Boo is what Atticus would call a mocking bird, an innocent, and this line of thinking is what allows Scout to accept him. Tony has a similar (albeit less significant) relationship with the river. It once made him uneasy and scared, but as Ultima teaches him acceptance of it, he learns to see it for what it is: a body that inhabits and brings life.


Saturday, August 17, 2019

“Perhaps God was too busy in heaven to worry or care about us” (p.187).


Personally, I always get excited when I am assigned a book that is banned in other schools. It makes me feel like I am part of some exclusive club, that I am getting a leg up on high schoolers who are more sheltered from the depths of the human soul that are discussed in these “controversial’’ texts. When I heard that BMU is banned for its narrator questioning God, I was particularly intrigued. As an Athiest myself, I often find it hard to relate to most literary characters from the stories that are assigned in school, and that my understanding of these books is shallow due to my lack of knowledge pertaining to religion. However, as eager and hopeful as I was for this book, I don’t think Antonio really mimics my experiences. He is brought up with a devout catholic mother, he strongly considers becoming a priest, and he actually questions his faith. On the other hand, I am not religious specifically because my parents aren’t, and I’ve never questioned my faith. I've always been very secure in my beliefs, or lack thereof. 
This leads me to a connection that I found, not with myself, but with one of my favorite characters, Celie. In “The Color Purple” Celie begins to turn away from God because she had always been a staunch Christian, yet life constantly dealt her the worst cards. The root of her suspicions mirror Tony’s pretty perfectly. Tony doesn’t understand how God could let a good person like Narciso die, and a wicked person like Tenorio live and be free. Both character’s question why God would just observe these injustices. This question, of course, isn’t limited to these two characters, this is the line of questioning what routinely shakes the faith of people all around the world. Even if I can’t personally relate with Tony, I am grateful that a different perspective on religion is being discussed so openly.

Thursday, August 15, 2019

"In that one there is hope"

In Chapter one of Rudolfo Anaya's novel "Bless me, Ultima" the author jumps right into the meaty themes of this coming of age story. In Antonio’s dream of his birth, the audience gets to observe why he feels pressure from all angles in terms of his tense family dynamics. Members of his mother’s family have decided he shall be a priest, and carry on their vales of stability and family first. However, his paternal relatives also claim Tony’s future and declare that he will be an adventurous vaquero, to carry on their way of life. It is pretty apparent that young Antonio is feeling conflicted as to which community he fits into. Just by being born, Tony unintentionally finds himself in the midst of rivaling ideologies, and he is now a pawn in the debate of who lives the “right” lifestyle. As if it weren't hard enough for children to navigate the world, Tony doesn't have any unbiased adults to explore his sense of self with, (until the entry of Ultima). No line sums up the pressure placed on Tony's shoulders quite like Uncle Juan’s well-meaning comment, “In that one there is hope”.  His entire family, immediate and removed, have ulterior motives when it comes to Tony's future. Anaya’s choice to use a flashback/dream to let the audience see these events first hand is very effective. It allows him to immerse the readers directly into the eye of the hurricane, which in turn allows them to see the book’s main topics first hand. In this scene alone, the backstory is covered along with the introduction of the book's main focus: struggling to find one’s identity. Readers can feel the stress of little Antonio, and it provokes their empathy.